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Writer's pictureAlicia Hawley-Bernardez

Surviving Holiday Perfectionism: Letting Go of Expectations

Updated: Nov 28

The holiday season is often seen as a time for joy, togetherness, and making memories. However, for many people, the pressure to create the "perfect" holiday experience can be overwhelming. Whether it’s trying to plan the ideal meal, finding the perfect gifts, or curating flawless holiday traditions, the weight of perfectionism can take away from the joy of the season.


If you find yourself feeling stressed, anxious, or exhausted trying to meet everyone’s expectations, you’re not alone. Holiday perfectionism can make it difficult to enjoy the present moment and can even lead to burnout. But the good news is that it’s possible to break free from the cycle of perfectionism and truly savor the holidays for what they are—imperfect but beautiful moments. Here are some tips to help you let go of unrealistic expectations and embrace a more relaxed, fulfilling holiday season.


  1. Recognize the Impact of Perfectionism

Perfectionism often stems from the belief that everything needs to be flawless in order to be worthwhile. It can create unrealistic standards that are impossible to meet, leading to feelings of failure and disappointment. Recognizing the impact of perfectionism on your mental and emotional well-being is the first step toward change. Ask yourself: What does “perfect” really mean to me? What am I trying to achieve, and is it worth the stress?


  1. Set Realistic Expectations

The holidays don’t have to look like the picture-perfect scenes we see in magazines or on social media. Focus on what truly matters to you and your loved ones. Let go of the idea that everything has to be just so. Instead, embrace the beauty in the imperfect moments. Accept that things may not go according to plan, and that’s okay. Allow yourself to feel good about your efforts, even if they don’t turn out exactly as you envisioned.


  1. Practice the Art of “Good Enough”

Sometimes, we can get stuck in the pursuit of perfection because we fear judgment or rejection. But the truth is, most people appreciate thoughtfulness, connection, and kindness far more than perfection. Rather than aiming for the "best" gift or the "perfect" meal, focus on the effort behind it. Sometimes, the simplest moments are the most memorable. Try shifting your mindset to the concept of "good enough"—you don’t have to do it all, and it doesn’t have to be flawless.


  1. Prioritize Self-Care

Perfectionism can be draining, especially during the holiday season when there are multiple demands on your time and energy. Taking care of your mental health is essential to surviving the holidays. Schedule time for yourself to relax and recharge, whether that’s through reading a book, taking a walk, or practicing mindfulness. When you prioritize self-care, you can approach the holiday season with a calm and clear mindset, which makes it easier to let go of unrealistic expectations.


  1. Embrace Imperfect Traditions

The holidays are all about creating memories, and some of the most meaningful memories come from imperfect moments. If something goes wrong, laugh it off and see it as an opportunity for connection and fun. Growing up, my mom always said that if a trip goes perfectly, you won’t have as much of a memory to remember it by. But if something goes wrong – well, then there’s a great story to tell! Maybe the turkey burns or the gifts don’t arrive on time—but these moments become part of the story, and often, the best stories are the ones that don’t go according to plan. Start a new tradition where you embrace imperfections as part of the experience.



  1. Seek Support if Needed

If perfectionism is impacting your mental health, it’s important to reach out for support. Whether it’s through therapy, talking to a friend, or joining a support group, you don’t have to carry the burden of perfectionism alone. A therapist can help you identify the root causes of your perfectionism and develop strategies to cope with the pressures you face during the holidays.


Conclusion: Enjoy the Holidays as They Are

The holidays don’t need to be perfect to be meaningful. Embrace the idea that imperfections are part of what makes this time of year special. Let go of the need to control every detail and focus on what truly matters: connecting with loved ones, creating lasting memories, and practicing gratitude. By releasing the need for perfection, you’ll open up space for peace, joy, and more meaningful moments.


Ready to Take the Next Step?

If you’re ready to let go of unrealistic expectations and embrace a more peaceful, fulfilling holiday season, Empowered Minds is here to support you. Contact us today to schedule your first session and start your journey toward self-compassion, resilience, and healing.




Scan here for a free 15-minute consultation or to book an appointment today!


Wishing you a happy, peaceful, and imperfectly beautiful holiday season. May it be filled with moments of joy, connection, and relaxation.



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